Tag Archives: compassion

Permission Happiness: Granted

27 Apr
Jane Austin and homemade chili? I don't mind if I do!

Jane Austen and homemade chili? I don’t mind if I do!

I’ve been noticing in my own life that it’s really hard to do something kind for myself without justifying it, or to allow myself to feel moments of happiness and joy without feeling guilty or shameful about it. Maybe you can relate.

It’s sad and fascinating and frustrating all at the same time. Why can’t I spend an hour–candles lit and hot tea ready to drink–reading a good book without justifying “I’m not being lazy, it’s for work?” And why am I waiting for the hands of judgment to punish me for enjoying chocolate truffles and snuggles with my man?

Logical Me wants to know why I do it and how can I fix it. Emotional Me wants to fully indulge myself, then mentally punish myself for weeks to come.

…And then there is this small, steady voice. It is barely audible, but when I breathe–just breathe–I can hear it. It’s stronger than I think. It reminds me that when I give myself permission to be kind to myself, to discover what makes me happy, to engage in simple moments of pleasure, that I in turn give my mother, my niece, my friends, all men and women, permission to do the same.

Accepting and loving ourselves gives others permission and strength to do the same.

I call that voice Loving Me.

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The Hero’s Journey

8 Jul
The Avengers

The Avengers

I love superhero movies…. and it isn’t because of the spandex (although I won’t complain). It’s the simple fact that these superheroes choose compassion despite their hardships.

 

… and it’s not because they’re pure goodness . They are remarkably human–minus the genius gizmos, gamma ray goodness and demigod status, of course. They make mistakes and face a ton of setbacks along the way. They have a shadow side that doesn’t always act in the best interests of others (well hello Mr. Dark Knight!). There truly is no black and white or good versus evil in my opinion… and I find this refreshing and hopeful.

 

You see, we can learn a lot from superheroes. We can learn to feel our emotions fully and channel them towards the greater good. We can learn to embrace our shadows because therein lies our creativity. And we know that bottling up anger turns us into big green creatures of destruction. True story.

 

So if your brokenhearted, feel the sadness. Grieve the loss, recognize your role in the relationship ending and channel that heartache into volunteering at Habitat for Humanity where you meet the cool volunteer plumber whose best friend just happens to be the future love of your life. Yeah, life really is that generous… if we let it be.

 

Embrace every emotion. Act with compassion. Enjoy the journey.